Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
