just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
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Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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