I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
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Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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