I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
