think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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