If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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