if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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