we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
