i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
