Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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