This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize