Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize