Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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