How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
