She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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