Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize