I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize