man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
