Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i now understand why vodka
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
