im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize