I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
its not stalking. its research.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
