I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
