if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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