capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳