I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?