she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.