Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
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Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
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"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?