How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
