We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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