im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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