that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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