Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower