if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.