if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face