So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she told me i tasted like america
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
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So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
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I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I believe in your delicious
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human