dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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