I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.