just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
You're right, stupid question.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.