He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
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We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober