What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?