Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together