you guys were way drunker than both of me
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
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You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
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I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.