I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
...so i touched it.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
