At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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