I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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