Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Randomize
