My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
