If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Life is so much better after having sex.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
