nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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