how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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