It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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