I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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