My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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