I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize