Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
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Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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