The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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