We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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