Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.