Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize