Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
